Elements of Intimacy

FREE DOWNLOAD Caffyn Jesse Elements of Intimacy


Elements of Intimacy: The Dance of Loving Connection by Caffyn Jesse

As a teacher and practitioner of sacred intimacy, I have discovered that whenever people feel safe-enough within themselves, or with others, they tune into an unstoppable longing. We want love endlessly and enormously, and we know our capacity for endless and enormous love.

How can we truly live into our capacity for love? When we feel afraid and under-resourced, autonomic nervous system responses of fight, flight, appease and freeze play out in patterns of relationship based on threat management. We can learn to use our reactive energies as portals to more spacious places in ourselves and our relationships, where we feel empowered to interact in courageous, generous, kind and loving ways.

When relationships are unloving or unwell, we are liable to bounce around in a pin-ball machine of reactive energies. We become hypervigilant, seeing danger everywhere, or dissociative, failing to track real danger, or we alternate between these states – and so we are liable to keep on experiencing more danger, dysfunction, neglect and violence in our lives. Relational well-being produces its own positive feedback loop. When we feel resourced, safe-enough, and challenged in manageable ways, we experience a cascade of beneficial physiological effects. We gradually let go of chronic fascial contraction, emotional turmoil and anxious thoughts. Our nervous systems suppress stress chemistry, and activate feel-good neurochemistry, including oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and endocannabanoids. In relationships where we can be brave, curious, excited, supported – and experience embodied pleasure – we can heal and grow our traumatized nervous systems, and build more and more capacity for joy.

We can learn to interact in ways that foster intimacy, and empower a dance of loving connection based on goodwill and welcome. We can practice gratitude and generosity, and attune our energy with the biosphere of belonging. As we learn to create a neurological feedback loop that supports a wonderful world within and around us, we find ourselves welcoming more and more joy and intimacy into our lives. A free handout on the Elements of Intimacy can be accessed HERE



“You have and still remain a guiding light, a profound love - across dimensions and illusions of time and space - and a beacon of remembering 'what we are.' In me, You are a Calling Home.”
Mari Abraham
“You opened up a new doorway for me, about how I could be, what my life, my world and my community could look like. You are so powerful, so special - you show me what it means to be a teacher: fallible, full of flaws, and full of beauty, truth and power.”
Kai Cheng Thom
“You are a fiercely loving powerhouse of change and remembering - of the body, stories and erotic wisdom.”
Solanna Anderson
“It is especially important to me personally that you are holding a torch for erotic wellbeing and authentic sexual expression. It is so rare to know an elder who carries wisdom and hope to heal one of humanity's deepest shadows.”
Nijlan Rosalia Bastet
“I couldn't be more grateful for the grace, kindness, love, acceptance and empowerment that I've been shown and taught. I am left speechless when I contemplate the life I've lived before this work, and the massive change and transformation I've found as a result of engaging with this paradigm of relationship with my self and other selves. So thank you, from the depths of my soul, for being you, and sharing you.”
David M