Intimacy Educator

It is your birthright to live a life filled with erotic joy. This book will show you how we can heal trauma and neglect, foster resilience, and cultivate joy in our bodies and relationships. The book can be used to support your individual healing and well-being, and relational wellness. It is also a textbook for professional development for all those called to work as “Sacred Intimates.” You will learn about sexual healing, erotic energy cultivation, and sensual and erotic massage. Caffyn Jesse gives stroke-by-stroke instructions for pleasuring diverse genital structures. Chapters on orgasm coaching will vastly expand your orgasmic capacities.

Caffyn’s toolbox includes techniques ranging from scar tissue healing to spanking. Beautiful illustrations show the specifics of pelvic, genital and anal anatomy. Powerful practices guide you in awakening the full potential of your sexuality. With reflections on social oppressions that harm us in diverse, intersecting ways, Caffyn also explores the relevance of sexual healing to social transformation.

Teaching through touch, Sacred Intimates can provide an ideal environment for healing and learning about sex. But without appropriate safeguards and clear boundaries, somatic practices can retraumatize already wounded people. Caffyn Jesse offers vital guidance on the ethics of practice.


“This is a brilliant and clearly written book by one of the most experienced practitioners of Sexological Bodywork and Somatic Sex Education. Caffyn Jesse has produced an authoritative guide…. It is a must-read for all who want to awaken the potential for joy we have in our bodies.” – Pamela Madsen, author of Shameless, founder of Back to the Body Retreats for Women

This book is an updated version (2020) of work previously published as Erotic Massage for Healing and Pleasure (2015). It is a textbook for the Somatic Sex Education Professional Training, and for Caffyn’s own online program on the Art and Science of Sacred Intimacy.

“You have and still remain a guiding light, a profound love - across dimensions and illusions of time and space - and a beacon of remembering 'what we are.' In me, You are a Calling Home.”
Mari Abraham
“You opened up a new doorway for me, about how I could be, what my life, my world and my community could look like. You are so powerful, so special - you show me what it means to be a teacher: fallible, full of flaws, and full of beauty, truth and power.”
Kai Cheng Thom
“You are a fiercely loving powerhouse of change and remembering - of the body, stories and erotic wisdom.”
Solanna Anderson
“It is especially important to me personally that you are holding a torch for erotic wellbeing and authentic sexual expression. It is so rare to know an elder who carries wisdom and hope to heal one of humanity's deepest shadows.”
Nijlan Rosalia Bastet
“I couldn't be more grateful for the grace, kindness, love, acceptance and empowerment that I've been shown and taught. I am left speechless when I contemplate the life I've lived before this work, and the massive change and transformation I've found as a result of engaging with this paradigm of relationship with my self and other selves. So thank you, from the depths of my soul, for being you, and sharing you.”
David M