Sacred Intimacy

Orgasm – the music of origin and end

This orgasm music from Barry Carl is a beautiful expression of the music-before-music. Solar flares, the pulse of distant stars, birdsong, and orgasm share the same rhythms… I’ve written about how psychedelic medicine and erotic practice can connect us with the ecstatic rhythms of the universe.

Breath and Energy Orgasm

Listening to this free 15-minute “Breath and Energy Orgasm” meditation from Caffyn Jesse is a way to ignite and amplify erotic aliveness, and enjoy an energy orgasm.

Somatic Sex Education Professional Training

In a professional training for somatic sex educators, you will learn how to companion clients in the embodied reclaiming of sexual pleasure.

Free E-Book: Sensual Man

This is a free ebook on men's sexual health. There is so much suffering and heartache among men and their sexual partners. But there is a simple solution – let’s learn to enjoy more pleasure! By training our bodies to enjoy more pleasure, we learn to amplify, contain and savour sexual energy. For men with biological penises, this means that erection often becomes more accessible. Ejaculation can be more intentional. Integrating anal pleasures, we address prostate health. With soft-penis pleasures, we can stop genital numbness and pain. Learning different ways to pleasure a partner, we expand erotic possibilities. We can feel relaxed and sensual in any erotic encounter – whether or not erection is available, and whether or not we have a biological penis. Learning takes only a few days of conscious commitment to pleasurable practices. Once these basic principles are understood, this new knowledge can be confidently embodied. We can continue to learn and grow throughout our lives, in the joyful exploration of ever-expanding erotic possibilities.

Make Water Not War

In the midst of an extended drought, I am glad to say that I spent all day with a loving friend, synthesizing water. When we devote 7 hours to erotic play (instead the 7 minutes that is average, in North America), it is truly astonishing how much water gets born through our cellular processes. Ejaculate, injaculate (we have to pee a lot), sweat and tears – newborn water comes to join the hydrosphere. Our love-making is wanted and needed, by the intricate emergent system of the biosphere.

Going Beyond Consent

Going beyond consent requires neuroplastic change. Sometimes this biophysical requirement is just too much for us. Can we get brave enough, and safe enough, to go on wanting, and co-creating space and time, to play in the neural learning zone within and between us? Can we want excitement and ecstasy, along with peace and solidarity? Where can we be in an ongoing learning, about living outside of threat-management responses and well-practiced cultural scripts?

Make love to your habit

Arousal and orgasm often unfold according to habitual scripts that keep eros accessible, but safe and small. It is the work and play of sacred intimacy to make love to our habits. What is your habitual path to orgasm? Celebrate your awesome habit! Then try making love to your habit.

Reflections on Enduring Love

Weaving life with other singular humans in enduring intimacies, we make a web where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Because of the intimate, intricate weave of each particular us, I am empowered to keep on becoming more fully me.

On Donut Massages and Donut Friendships….

Why are 6 square inches at the center of us excluded from massage therapy, and from friendship? We imagine and choreograph friendships in ways that – like “donut massages” – keep the erotic out-of-bounds. We say someone is “just a friend”, as if friendship were less than lovership and partnership. What if we explored our friendships without the boundaries of convention that keep them circumscribed and “safe”? I don’t want every friendship to include genital interactions, though I love to integrate erotic rituals into my relationships with several friends. But I do want my friendships to be erotic in the sense that they are deep, abiding intimacies, where we reach for ecstasies, together, again and again….

Cultivate your fantasies

This is a free guided meditation you can use to cultivate your imagination. One of the simplest and most effective ways to amplify sexual wellness is to cultivate the erotic imagination. Fantasies can be much more than snippets of distracted erotic thoughts. Stories stimulate our nervous systems and generate physiological arousal. They help bring novelty, focus and adventure to our erotic lives. In fantasies, we have space to freely play, and generate new possibilities.