Reflections on Enduring Love
Weaving life with other singular humans in enduring intimacies, we make a web where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Because of the intimate, intricate weave of each particular us, I am empowered to keep on becoming more fully me.
Welcome Home Ritual
What if there was no part of ourselves that was too shameful, ugly and unlovable to be welcomed home? I want to weave a world where we can bring our most our impossible-to-hold parts to our intimates, to have them listened to, and loved. Not fixed, denied, reassured, soothed, transformed or shamed. Welcomed. Cherished.
On Donut Massages and Donut Friendships….
Why are 6 square inches at the center of us excluded from massage therapy, and from friendship? We imagine and choreograph friendships in ways that – like “donut massages” – keep the erotic out-of-bounds. We say someone is “just a friend”, as if friendship were less than lovership and partnership. What if we explored our friendships without the boundaries of convention that keep them circumscribed and “safe”? I don’t want every friendship to include genital interactions, though I love to integrate erotic rituals into my relationships with several friends. But I do want my friendships to be erotic in the sense that they are deep, abiding intimacies, where we reach for ecstasies, together, again and again….
Cultivate your fantasies
This is a free guided meditation you can use to cultivate your imagination. One of the simplest and most effective ways to amplify sexual wellness is to cultivate the erotic imagination. Fantasies can be much more than snippets of distracted erotic thoughts. Stories stimulate our nervous systems and generate physiological arousal. They help bring novelty, focus and adventure to our erotic lives. In fantasies, we have space to freely play, and generate new possibilities.
Sexual Healing
In staggering numbers, we are sexually, physically and emotionally abused as children – betrayed by the adults we rely on to survive. In later years, many of us experience unwanted sex, rape, and sexual violence. We hurt other people. We frighten ourselves. We are hated and punished for our sexual choices. And when people don’t have sex by the rules (and that means almost everyone), the punishments are real and they are terrible. Simply living in a sex-negative culture – where desire is so often shamed – profoundly wounds this most sacred, secret part of us.
Sacred Intimacy
Can sex be more than an exchange of pleasures? Can it be more even than the expression of romance? In the paradigm of sacred intimacy, sex is holy. Erotic energy is life force energy. It is an aspect of constellations, trees and tides. Sexual ecstasy is a way to honor and practice the divine in ourselves and others. It is a way to pray, celebrate, heal and transform. With every cell in our bodies, we can be and become love.