Queer Ancestors
Thinking about queer ancestors, a lineage of queer love becomes palpable, across generations and through time. Today I’m feeling so guided by Sequoia Thom’s life and death – and the way he navigated his “return to the beloved.”
Somatic Sex Education Professional Training
In a professional training for somatic sex educators, you will learn how to companion clients in the embodied reclaiming of sexual pleasure.
Psychedelic Medicine and Somatic Sexual Wellness
For me, Eros is our sacred well, our inmost core. Psychedelics weave us into conscious connection with the web of life and death; we feel wanted and welcome. So the intersection of somatic sexual wellness and psychedelic medicines can be a place of powerful magic – but also of grave danger, and potential for major misattunements.
Belonging to the Song
I want to be like birds, as I attune to my intimate world, both human and non-human. How can I belong to the song? Can I listen for the sweet music of each person I love, without getting distracted by all the noise? Can we keep on discerning what song only we can sing, in the weave of each particular us? What if I give my attention to the music, with more and more precision?
Going Beyond Consent
Going beyond consent requires neuroplastic change. Sometimes this biophysical requirement is just too much for us. Can we get brave enough, and safe enough, to go on wanting, and co-creating space and time, to play in the neural learning zone within and between us? Can we want excitement and ecstasy, along with peace and solidarity? Where can we be in an ongoing learning, about living outside of threat-management responses and well-practiced cultural scripts?
Reflections on Enduring Love
Weaving life with other singular humans in enduring intimacies, we make a web where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Because of the intimate, intricate weave of each particular us, I am empowered to keep on becoming more fully me.
On Donut Massages and Donut Friendships….
Why are 6 square inches at the center of us excluded from massage therapy, and from friendship? We imagine and choreograph friendships in ways that – like “donut massages” – keep the erotic out-of-bounds. We say someone is “just a friend”, as if friendship were less than lovership and partnership. What if we explored our friendships without the boundaries of convention that keep them circumscribed and “safe”? I don’t want every friendship to include genital interactions, though I love to integrate erotic rituals into my relationships with several friends. But I do want my friendships to be erotic in the sense that they are deep, abiding intimacies, where we reach for ecstasies, together, again and again….
Sexual Healing
In staggering numbers, we are sexually, physically and emotionally abused as children – betrayed by the adults we rely on to survive. In later years, many of us experience unwanted sex, rape, and sexual violence. We hurt other people. We frighten ourselves. We are hated and punished for our sexual choices. And when people don’t have sex by the rules (and that means almost everyone), the punishments are real and they are terrible. Simply living in a sex-negative culture – where desire is so often shamed – profoundly wounds this most sacred, secret part of us.