Autism is a superpower, and it’s hard to love…

Autism is a superpower, and it’s hard to love…

Some days, it’s tough LOVING someone with autism. Some days, it’s tough BEING someone with autism. And here I am, trying to do both.

Loving someone with autism, I get so frustrated, with all the ways they want pattern, predictability, focus and routine. What lack of adventure, what dearth of novelty! Being someone with autism, I get superpowered by choosing familiarity and peace, and savouring contentment. I don’t need gratuitous anxieties to make me feel more alive! I’m so alive! And we both know how overstimulation is my kryptonite….

Loving someone with autism can be so lonely. Are they really that self-centered and oblivious? Being someone with autism, I feel the superpower of self-centeredness. I align with quantum physical reality to be my very own centre of the universe. I want that for you, too.

Loving someone with autism means I get outraged, some days, by their lack of interest in cultural narratives of worthiness and unworthiness. Don’t they know – they should at least be trying to be more worthy of love – more attractive, convenient, sensitive, honoring – or at least, more minimally aware of me? Being someone with autism, I feel the superpower of my disinterest, in all the cultural stories about how I (or you) can be more (or less) worthy to live, love and be loved. I only care what feels right for me. I want that for you too.

I know neurodivergence is one key, for me. Neuro-weirdness feels like part of my power. Autism resources me in my work, in sacred intimacy, in my erotic friendships and ever-evolving intimacies. I can be an outlaw in love with other outlaws. We can keep wanting and evolving resonant connection, without getting too distracted by the dominator culture’s stories, rules and roles. And yes, there is fear and frustration. It’s really tough, some days, to be loving in ways that land, and to feel loved.

New Online Program on Sacred Intimacy

I am shyly offering an online course – sharing my life’s work… at a radically low introductory price. Intimacy educators support people in:

  • practicing empowered choice and voice
  • understanding the neural learning zone
  • addressing sexual trauma and neglect
  • finding sexual healing and well-being

You will learn to tend people’s bodies while supporting their souls, with:

  • trauma-informed touch
  • sensual massage
  • genital mapping, massage and de-armouring
  • transformative erotic rituals

E-book covers from the Intimacy Educator program with Caffyn Jesse: Empowering Choice and Voice, The Neural Learning Zone, Sensual Massage

Psychedelic Medicine and Somatic Sexual Wellness

Emerging…. I feel bedraggled and vulnerably newborn, as I emerge from a week in ceremony. A small group of great souls came together, to explore a potential weave of somatic sexual wellness with psychedelic medicines. We all arrived as experienced spaceholders – all courageous, seasoned explorers of expanded dimensions of our personal and interpersonal neuroendocrine systems. We all already knew how to delight in difference, and tend to rupture with repair. We all were already oriented by our own trustworthy longings – for deep pleasure, and profound ecstasy.
Within this unique blend of lovership and leadership – a gathering that had never been before and will never be again – something extraordinary emerged. The molecules conspired. The rhythm of the biosphere found expression in hearts, breath, imagination and co-creation. Death and life made love within and around us, as they do in forest, soil, cells, souls, skin…. We found a path of ever-deepening differentiation within evermore unity. We each and all could shine, and reflect each other’s shining. Extraordinary experiences got woven with everyday frustrations, trauma triggers and ongoing commitment to care. As I reflect and rest, I feel as if I am resourced by many embodied experiences of life as it is meant to be. I find myself incubating mysterious, impossible new dreams.
For me, Eros is our sacred well, our inmost core. Psychedelics weave us into conscious connection with the web of life and death; we feel wanted and welcome. So the intersection of somatic sexual wellness and psychedelic medicines can be a place of powerful magic – but also of grave danger, and potential for major misattunements. Combining them is not for the under-resourced, inexperienced, or faint-of-heart. If this is a weave that calls to you, I hope you go carefully, finding your very own pace of trust, with those great souls who are your precious companions. I’d love to learn what you discover. Because I’m going to stay, and work and play at this intersection. For all the messiness and challenge, it also feels profoundly right….