Cultivate your fantasies

Posted in Sacred Intimacy

Explore finding a doorway to a surprising fantasy that is just right for you, and allowing it to unfold. After listening to the meditation, take time to write about what you experienced, thought or felt. The guided meditation is available as a free MP3 file that can be listened to here

Download here: Fantasy-Doorways

One of the simplest and most effective ways to amplify sexual wellness is to cultivate the erotic imagination. Fantasies can be much more than snippets of distracted erotic thoughts. Stories stimulate our nervous systems and generate physiological arousal. They help bring novelty, focus and adventure to our erotic lives. In fantasies, we have space to freely play, and generate new possibilities.

Yet people often eschew their fantasies, or use them sparingly, because they feel ashamed or afraid of them. Perhaps their fantasies include people – or other beings, practices, organs or orifices – we would never want to interact with in the realm of reality. Ethics, communication and consent are essential in the realm of reality, but in the realm of fantasy we can honor all the archetypes that show up. Sometimes, for some of us, that will include unsafe sex, sex with people or other beings we aren’t in a relationship with, forbidden pleasures, and violent, non-consensual sex. In the realm of fantasy, we can welcome and play with it all.

Let your fantasies be rich with sensual details – fantasize about smells, tastes, textures, colors and physical sensations. Try on different playmates and different settings. Try on different genders. You can explore dominance/submission roles for yourself and others, without needing any education or skills! Notice that fantasy is a full-body experience – and savor your body’s responses. By committing time to our fantasies, paying attention to any arousal they spark in us, and making them deeper, richer and more fully developed, we are building brain maps and integrating neural networks.

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